It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
