He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
