So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
