haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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