i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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