Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
