I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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