I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
