batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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