so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Holy shit dude........stairs
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
