dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
