Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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