Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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