Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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