I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
