last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize