So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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