bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
