I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
