you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
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I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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