I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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