are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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