So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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