you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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