bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
