Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
