i permit you to call me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
