also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
3pm strippers are depressing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
