Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
