Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
