summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
