You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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