After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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