i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
