Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
