Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
two words: eviction party
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
