oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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