I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
