wat bout pragnant strippers??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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