Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
