like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
