Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
