Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
