Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
