They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
