I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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