i jhust puked up my retainher.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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