i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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