The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
