Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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