Fuck appropriateness.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
