there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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