How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
