when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
two words...techno handjob
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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