I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize