Taylor Swift is so right about you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
