She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
