Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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