Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
