I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
