butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
