I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
