I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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